So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I love having hate sex.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?