Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Like the friend zone has no room for winks