dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother