dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.