girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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