Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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