using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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