my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I hate all girls vehemently.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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