the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Randomize
