So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
The air taste purple.
Randomize
