oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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