THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
