You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
