i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
