my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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