It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize