somebody snuck up and got me drunk
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
