FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
