Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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