I'm so fucking centered right now
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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