Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
