no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
