90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
