His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
