I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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