just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
