i permit you to call me
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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