I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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