just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The uberlube is also flammable
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
