idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
either way he was missing a nipple.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
