I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
this will be a night to untag.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
