You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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