someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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