I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize