My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
