is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
