you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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