..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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