I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
