he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
