I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
