you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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