I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
