I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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