i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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