I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Damn victory sex feels great
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
