Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
