What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
