Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
