Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
