im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
