I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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