If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
