I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
