omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
