But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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