I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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