I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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