I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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