whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
