Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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