I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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