hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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