he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
