Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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